Everybody knows the Cinderella story. Cinderella walks into the ball and on-sight the handsome prince falls in love with her. She leaves the ball early and "conveniently" leaves behind her glass slipper. Determined to find his princess, the prince made every woman in the kingdom try on this glass slipper until he found her. They lived happily ever after. The end.

Right in 1300 B.C.

We all know damn well that's not the way things work. You are not Cinderella, we don't live in a kingdom, and life is not a fairytale. However, these are the stories shoved down our throats at the tender age of 5 and we wonder why our perceptions of relationships and men are misconstrued.

Let's be candid, in 2010 women are educated, independent, financially stable, and sexually sound. Today, we can walk up to the Prince, take him out for cocktails, dare we say it- fuck his brains out, and dip. Actually, this is what many of us have resorted to doing this day and age. We have no problems letting any man (or woman for that matter) know we are not 1950's housewives and we will not be docile. Bedroom and boardroom alike, we know what we want, how to get it, and will activate a search and destroy mission to conquer our conquest.

What we sometimes fail to realize is there is a delicate dance between being a strong independent woman and a fair maiden in need of saving.

On the other end of the women dating spectrum, some of us are still waiting around like a fair maiden for Prince Charming to come woo us and save us from relationship torment. We aren't saying you can't learn anything from Cinderella's story. It is fact that if a nigga wants you, he will pursue you. Period. No tap dance necessary. But what's not going to happen is thinking this man is going to come to you just because you're cute or accomplished. Contrary to popular belief, 'Five Star Chicks' come a dime a dozen.

So what is a girl to do?

Homework #1:

Fuck it, pursue him. We know you're thinking "ya'll JUST said if he wants you he will pursue you". We did. But you can't sit around like a puppy in a box waiting for it's new owner. Truth be told, niggas ain't always the sharpest knives in the drawer. They are slow to catch you batting your eyes across a crowded room, and may overlook the fact you've walked past him to get to the ladies room three times. More often than not, you have to let the guy know you are the one he wants, and sorry to say activating the divide and conquer 2010 independent woman tactic is not always the best way to do it.

So how?

It's ok to approach him, dudes like that; It let's them know that you know what you want. What man wouldn't get a kick out of a woman starting a conversation and handing out a number; That might seem borderline surreal. What's not ok is chasing him... that's a man's job and you run the risk of looking thirsty. All you need to do is plant the seeds that you're interested: Do NOT over due it!! A nigga that wants you doesn't need to be chased. When approaching a man, subtlety is key. You still have to let him think he's the aggressor. All men recognize thirst and some niggas will prey on it. Can you blame them? You put that out there.

Thirsty (thur-stee) adj - desperate, needy, potentially standard free.

So Miss Independent Woman after approaching him then what? Do you ask him out on a date? Do you pay? Does he pay? Should you call him first? If that's what you're comfortable with then do it, some guys like being pampered, and it really depends if you have the personality to pull that off. But most guys aren't used to you playing their role. If you are doing all of that, what the hell is he doing? He's being the bitch and you end up with a bitch nigga. If you're fine with that, then cool. You win.

If you're not fine with playing the role of a man, then drop the bait and let him chase you. If he wants you, he will pursue you, i.e. take you out and call you, etc. Don't make it easy for him. Everybody knows that anything with value is hard to obtain. He will put in the necessary work to obtain you, IF you are something that will be of valuable to him. It could boil down to the fact that you are just not his type of girl, us women have a criteria, and men have a criteria too. If you don't fit his criteria, don't sweat it, on to the next. If you want to play big girl games, you need to accept the fact that you run the risk of rejection and guess what-- you take it like a big girl. Everybody ain't for everybody. The sooner you learn that lesson, the better off you will be.

If you are not into big girl games and aren't comfortable with approaching a guy, then don't. But make yourself open and available to him. Try a compliment in passing and turn it into a conversation, or false lashes for an over the top eye-fuck, whatever you're into. But make it obvious that you're interested.

Be sure that you don't make yourself unattainable, because one of two things will happen. 1) he will forget what he's chasing after and invest time into something else, or 2) all you will become to him is the chase, and once you're caught, you're out. Either way, you fail. This is a give and take instructional, put in this what you expect to get out of it.